Fashion Blogs

Friday, 18 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --

A lot has been said about John Travolta over the years, most notably that he lives a secret gay lifestyle. I, for one have never really believed it. Or maybe I didn't want to believe that Vinny Bobbarino was secretly playing with penises. Over the past week, 3 guys have come forward and accused Travolta of inappropriate sexual advances and I have to say where there is smoke there is fire. Something ain't right with John Travolta and he can't hide it anymore. I do know that he is an active Scientologist and I don't think homosexuality is accepted or even "allowed" which I'm sure has been quite the struggle for John. Back in the time of Ron L. Hubbard, great measures were taken to "cure" homosexuality but these days they would have you believe The Church of Scientology does not dictate sexual preferences. Not buying it but I do know who will be paying it and that is going to be John, paying these guys to STFU and go away.

Manolo the Columnist: Gwyneth from Sam Edelman

Friday, 18 May 2012 SHOEBLOGS (Flats) --

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve been invited to spend Memorial Day Weekend with my boyfriend’s family
in the Hamptons. The trouble is, I’m a poor working girl. Can you please
recommend some summery flat sandals that will look good enough to impress
these people without bankrupting me?

Molly

Manolo says, as always, the Manolo suggests saving your monies and buying the most super fantastic shoes one can afford, for such purchases will give the most satisfaction over the long term, in comfort, beauty, and admiration from those who know quality when they see it.

But the Manolo also sympathizes with the poor girls, who must work the double shifts at their dismal dreary jobs in the new media sweatshops, posting on the corporate blogs and twittering and facebooking all day long for the Man.

Indeed, the Manolo knows exactly what it is like to be poor, so poor that you must fashion your own super fantastic, impress-the-rich-people-in-the-Hamptons sandals out of strangely colored shells and tangled fishing line you have collected near the wastewater outlet pipe that discharges near the pier under which you are sleeping.

And so he would recommend that you Gwyneth from the Sam Edelman as being the moderately priced, cutely blingish flat sandals that will keep the people of the Hamptons moderately appeased.

Demi Lovato gets no respect...

Thursday, 17 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --

Looks like Simon Cowell is giving Demi Lovato the cold shoulder. She's just hanging on at the edge but I am guessing that Demi will be great on X Factor and make Britney Spears look like a child. Of course we'll have L.A. Reid to balance out Simon's sarcastic wit. I think this is going to be good and I am going to watch it this season. I am so over American Idol. That show totally jumped the shark this season and every time I tuned in, it became more and more boring. Not one single contestant really rocked out like in the past seasons, no one seems to be feeling it and everyone is simply playing it safe. Huge yawn for AI and I will not be watching it again. However, I will tune in to X Factor because I love Simon, I like Demi Lovato and I cannot look away any time Britney is doing something other than lip synching. Whenever this girl talks it's pure entertainment and my favorite kind of crazy.

Gwyneth Paltrow looks really good...

Thursday, 17 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --

I never thought I would write the words, "Gwyneth Paltrow looks good..." but there you have it. She looks amazing, like I have never seen her before. This was a great idea and Gwyneth should adopt this look every day from now on.

Sergio Rossi for the Tuesday

Tuesday, 15 May 2012 SHOEBLOGS (Sergio Rossi) --

Manolo says, it is Tuesday, and sometime within the next few weeks, your children will be released from the school for the summer, and then, the fun will begin, yes?

In the meantime, why not assuage that free-floating anxiety about expensive summer camps and home-alone children by looking at the crazy colorful shoes from Sergio Rossi?

On the one of the hands, artificial uppers.

On the other of the hands, super fantastic colorful plastic!

Tish Cyrus has gas station beef jerky nipples...

Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --

Tish Cyrus has some wonky boobs, huh? Looks like one of them is ready for a little nap. I see Tish avoids bras about as much as her lovely daughter, Miley Cyrus. I wonder how much those distressed jeans cost? Or maybe she found them at the bottom Billy Ray's 1980's wardrobe closet while she was looking for his career. This is a woman who is not easy on the eyes and kind of reminds me of a piece of beef jerky, but not the good kind. You know the beef jerky you find in a dusty package on the gas station shelf and you buy it because you're drunk and hungry? You take it home and try to eat it but it's tough and stringy, so you drop it behind the sofa. A month later you sweep behind there and discover that dusty, dirty, hairy piece of jerky, you reach down to throw it out and your dog snatches it, after a while even he can't digest that crap so you kick it back under the sofa. That is what Tish Cyrus reminds me of.

Lindsay Lohan channels Looney Tunes...

Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --

Lindsay Lohan is looking so gorgeous these days, right? I just love the dime store bobby pin she has stuck in her hair. We all know she really uses it to dig the coke boogers out of her nose. She reminds me of Witch Hazel from Looney Tunes. Every time she would chase after Bugs Bunny a bunch of bobby pins would fly out of her hair. I'll bet Samantha Ronson has a huge collection of those very same pins.

Bree Olson likes tools...

Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --

It looks like Bree Olson, former Charlie Sheen "Goddess" needed a little extra help while doing a practically naked photo shoot. They literally had to clamp that ass of hers and I can see why. So, not only does Bree use tools in her wardrobe she also dates them.

Jessica Simpson is in the stuffed sausage business now...

Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --

Jessica Simpson is going to come out with a maternity line. Of course she is. Jessica has made a butt-load of cash of doing lots of things and has made quite the financial comeback since blowing her last bit of money on her doomed wedding to Nick Lachey. So, now Jess is going to show us all how to dress while we are trying to conceal a 30 pound turkey strapped to our stomachs. I followed Jessica rather closely throughout her pregnancy because it was simply fascinating. The duration and how huge she got. Not once did I see a photo of Jessica in a great looking outfit that flattered her baby bump. In fact, Jessica was a train wreck of fashion throughout the entire thing, beginning with the Mummy costume on Halloween that she announced the pregnancy in. For example, this photo looks like Jessica has morphed into a burnt sausage that swallowed a tater tot. Maybe that's why she is going to do a maternity line, she wants to look better next time? Nah... she is doing it so she can rake in the money, honey.

Manolo the Columnist: Nealla from Pour la Victoire

Friday, 11 May 2012 SHOEBLOGS (Platforms) --

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

After four years of hard work, I’m finally graduating next week with a degree in Renaissance Studies. Happily, I have already managed to find a lovely job that starts three weeks after graduation. (Yeah me!) Can you recommend a pair of shoes for the graduation ceremony, something fun?

Marielle

Manolo says, it is the time of the graduation, when the adult peoples don the ridiculous medieval gown and cap, and listen to the speeches about boldly seizing the future.

“Today, as you go forth from this place to boldly seize the future, remember what you have learned here in this institution, both in the classroom and out of it. Indeed, some of you will never forget what you learned just two weeks ago, during the aftermath of Fraternity Row’s Monster Spring Bash and Riot.

“And now, let me take a moment to give a special welcome to our official guests sitting among you in the audience, the sheriffs deputies, parole officers and bail bonds men, who’s recent tireless efforts have made this joyous occasion possible.”

Ayyy! The life of the mind!

As for what shoes to wear, because your graduation outfit will be covered by the black gown of drabness, you will need something that “pops” as you walk across the stage, the statement shoes that that will help you boldly stride into the seizable future.

Here is the Nealla from Pour la Victoire in the bold lilac. It is also available in coral, and taupe for those who may be more timid.